So, you broke-up (I'm sorry.) Or you were dating and things seemed great but now, for whatever reason, not so much. Either way, its probably a good time to try to make your ex jealous using the World Wide Web. Besides stalking and porn, the internet is a great resource for making an estranged lover jealous (I speak from experience.) This can almost always be achieved on Facebook. If your ex doesnt use Facebook, I am alarmed, but also jealous. While Facebook is great for making him/her jealous, its bad for making yourself jealous when you accidentally look at his/her page one to one hundred times a day (I speak from experience.)
But back to making your ex jealous. First keep in mind that you should never post Facebook status updates on how sad you are, or lonely you feel. This only reinforces the dumpers decision. The opposite is also true dont make Facebook status updates on how happy you are, how much fun you are having or how great it is to be single again. This looks forced and is almost as sad as its reverse. You also may look like a high-schooler (and not in a hot under-age way). My first step has always been what I call taking eat your heart out pictures. You cannot under any circumstances take these pictures alone and you certainly cant take them in your bedroom. You need to be out with a group of friends. You must always be smiling. A huge bonus of course is if you are seen out and about, looking good, very happy with some of his/her friends. There is nothing left of his/her heart now. They already ate it.
Another good strategy is to write on mutual friends walls - with inside jokes. Never mention the ex. You clearly dont think about him/her anymore. Attend as many functions as possible and appear in as many pictures as possible. You are now the life of the party. Keep in mind when youre out with these mutual friends that you should never, ever, mention your exs name, not even once. That way, when he/she asks your mutual friends if you asked about him/her and the answer is no, his/her ego is bruised. Almost bruised enough to come crawling back. Youre doing well . . . Your next Facebook move should be to remove your relationship status all together. If you had previously switched it to single, he/she may now get a notification. You are no longer single. Bonus!
At this point he/she has probably been asking about you and youre pretty sure that the eat your heart out pictures are working. Now its time to go on a hiatus. Pretend youre looking for a new job (possibly far away) and you cant be on these social networks anymore. You cant have future employers seeing how much you go out and how much fun you are! This lack of communication will not please your ex. Now, he/she needs to contact you directly to make sure you havent moved on. He/She will want to grab a drink and catch up. He/She is jealous, curious and pretty sure he/she made a mistake. And, thanks to the World Wide Web he/she is back and you probably dont want him/her anymore. Mazel!
